1) I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.


2) What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.


3) What do you call a frenchman wearing sandals?

Phillipe Phillope.


4) I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.

It's shift work.


5) Knock Knock

Who's There?

Dishes

Dishes Who?

Dishes Sean Connery.


6) How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He ate the pizza before it was cool.


7) People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones.

But people in Abu Dhabi do.